era of entitlement : handouts for all

What does fiscal responsibility mean anyhow? To the common man, I believe this often uttered phrase means, "to live within one's means". To live within one's means, one spends less than one earns. This is the most simple of definitions, but often the simplest definitions are best.

President Obama is convening a "Fiscal Responsibility Summit" in Washington, D.C. immediately after passing the most pork-laden and largest spending legislation known in the history of mankind.

Never let it be said that our nation's leader lacks chutzpah. (Remember that the classic definition of chutzpah is the person who murders their parents and then pleads for mercy from the judge because he is an orphan.) Fiscal responsibility, to some, is a phrase which gets trotted out at a whim to point out what others should be doing to ensure economic responsibility in others and never mind what I am doing, mind your own business.

The antithesis of fiscal responsibility is the handout. handouts hurt everyone.

Obama has become a great handout champion. At his town hall meeting in an attempt to drum up support for his "porkulus" bill, Obama promised to do everything he could for Henrietta Hughes. Henrietta was homeless and needed a house and a small car. Google Henrietta Hughes for the latest as I cannot keep up with this woman's stories.

Part of the Obama administration's $75 billion dollar tax relief plan includes paying off some people's mortgages. Amazingly, read the unbiased story from MSNBC who explains why this is a good deal. People who did not read their loan agreement, bought new cars, bought more house than they could afford, people who should not have bought homes in the first place are going to get their mortgage assistance from the government. My personal favorite story is the guy who was prequalified to buy a $1.5 Million dollar condo on $20,000 per year income.

Bailing out the bankers last year was a huge mistake. If you don't think so yet, please read the story of Northwestern Bank (recipient of $1.6 Billion dollars of federal bailout money) who flew hundreds of employees and guests to LA to attend a golf tournament sponsored by the bank. The bank hired Chicago, Earth Wind and Fire and Sheryl Crowe. Not bad.

We live in the era of the handout. Who doesn't have their hand out nowadays, anyway? I work three jobs to support my family and saved for years to purchase a home, so not me. Think this entitlement concept has gotten out of hand?

• The porn industry is petitioning for a federal handout
  
• North Korea is jockeying for a handout from the Obama administration
  
• The city of Houston, Texas has proposed a program to pay off the credit card debt for those seeking to borrow a home. (This caused national outrage to the point that they replaced the original story with the backpedal story)

To be fair, President George W. Bush was a decent enough man, but lacked conservative values. Unlike his predecessor, W. was capable of keeping sluts out of the oval office and avoided getting handjo... wait... we are talking about handouts. Who in their right-leaning conservative mind would have signed into law the Family Leave Act or that boondoggle prescription drug bill?

President Obama, however, has ushered in a new era of the fully-entitled handout. Where does this all end?

I can tell you for certain who's pocket it is going to come out of.

fiddling and diddling as America burns

There are so many problems with the so-called stimulus bill it is pathetic. In addition to being laden with more pork than a McDonald's Mc-Rib sandwich the size of Kentucky, the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Act" has (among other pet projects) provisions for the following that are sure to get America and Americans back on their feet:

2.8 billion dollars for global warming alarmists

650 million dollars for digital TV converter box coupons

300 million dollars for electric cars for government officials (including golf carts)

150 million dollars to pretty up the Smithsonian buildings

400 million dollars for anti-smoking programs and sexually transmitted disease prevention

30 million dollars to protect the habitat of a salt marsh field mouse (in San Francisco)

How befitting that congress should jam this down our collective throats on Friday the 13th? The house passed Obama's stinker even after promising to make it available in an "electronically searchable format" 48 hours before voting on it. Someone in congress had to appreciate the irony of not being able to even read this stinking mass before they voted on it, and on the most unluckiest of all days. Not one republican supported the measure in the house of representatives. Not one republican supported the bill in my house, either, but it is destined to become law.

There is a often-repeated historical tale of Nero the Roman emperor playing the fiddle as Rome burned. This is not held to be historically accurate as the fiddle, supposedly, was created many hundreds of years after the fire. That said, the image of an emperor "playing the fiddle as Rome burns" is a powerful description of those in power having little regard for the real suffering of their constituents.

In order to swallow this analogy, one has to picture Obama as an emperor. OK.

Nero was truly an early liberal opportunist, as he built a 100-300 acre palace on the ground peppered in the ash of his people and their homes. Taking advantage of a tragedy is the true earmark (wink wink) of the modern liberal opportunist too. In the end, arson or accident does not matter to the fire's victims. They're gone. The arsonists who created this particular fiscal fire that rages in the American homeland were hardcore leftists in the Carter administration who forced banks to give home loans to unworthy Americans.

That's right, unworthy. Unworthy means, (liberals: this is for you!) not deserving. That's right. Liberals: think about this. Some Americans don't deserve to buy a home. Even though owning a home is the American dream, not everyone deserves to own one. Here's the kicker, liberals: the criteria for owning a home has nothing to do with what color your skin is or where your pappy is from. The Americans who don't deserve a home loan are those who cannot afford to pay back the loans! If this means that a bank in a predominately hispanic or black neighborhood can't give out loans to most of the hispanics or blacks who apply for a loan at their bank, this is not racist, it is common sense, and fiscally responsible behavior.

Even though we know who set this particular modern fire, let's put that aside and focus on the rape of the taxpayer after the fire. At least one-tenth of Rome was burned, by historical accounts. Nero did open his palaces to those who were homeless (free housing) and provided food to those who would starve (welfare) while he built a new palace on the burned areas (pork project) while blaming the Christians for the "arson" (misdirection and scapegoating of the enemies of the state). There was a "report" of Nero having set the fire himself. As a result, Nero burned Christians, crucified them, or sent them to be thrown to the dogs, according to Tacitus,

"Consequently, to get rid of the report, Nero fastened the guilt and inflicted
the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called
Christians by the populace"

Nero wanted a new palace built in the center of Rome and took advantage of the fire to fulfill his pet project at the expense of the Roman people. He raised taxes to fund his pork project. Our modern eco-friendly liberals would applaud his enterprising and green solution for renewable energy. Rather than harnessing messy fossil fuels or economically unfeasible and unproven wind or solar power, Tacitus again describes Nero's treatment of the Christians,

"Mockery of every sort was added to their deaths. Covered with the skins of beasts, they were torn by dogs and perished, or were nailed to crosses, or were doomed to the flames and burnt, to serve as a nightly illumination, when daylight had expired."

Well done. No, literally. those Christians were well-done!

Nothing provides soft white reading light like a Christian!

Hey diddle diddle! If only Obama was just playing the fiddle while America burned. Perhaps my liberal colleagues with a brain would offer here a comment about those who go shoe shopping during natural disasters or those who read books to children during terrorist attacks on our country.

Not to be outdone by inappropriate behavior during disasters (conservatives, I kid!), liberals use this "historic opportunity" (they love this phrase) to fund and enrich every liberal legislative pork and bbq-sauce wet-dream project ever known to Nancy Pelosi and her gang of partisan thugs. A $30 million dollar earmark for salt marsh mouse habitat restoration and golf carts for government officials is reprehensible. Promising people a chance to see and read the bill before it goes to vote and then immediately forcing the vote is un-American. Labelling this legislation the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Act" is downright disgusting. (Note: I didn't say "surprising").

Nero is perhaps best known for being his disgusting and depraved sexual proclivities, and I am not above making this kind of comparison to the modern emperors in our government (even since Bill Clinton left office.) However, I find it important to note:

The legend that Nero "fiddled" while Rome burned began many centuries after Nero's time and is referring to how Nero fiddled away his time on frivololity. As a noun, "fiddle" came to refer to a violin (not invented for many centuries after the great fire of Rome), but as a verb, "fiddle" originally meant to avoid one's responsibilities, or to commit fraud. Befitting?

The Romans were free of Nero when he committed suicide at age 31. When will we be free of our oppressive emperors? After the great fire of Rome, the plight of the Christians did not matter to those who were now ash buried under Nero's shining new temple. Perhaps we will be so to those who inherit America after it is ravaged by the great fiscal fire of 2009 AD.

God have mercy on us all. And the salt marsh harvest mouse, too.